whosoeverbelievethinhim asked:

I just read your response on how we should treat homosexuality just the same as any other sin; that it doesn’t define who someone is. I totally agree with your entire response, but I do have a question. How does one deal with a person who struggles with homosexuality, but does not recognize it as a struggle or sin? In other words, they call him or herself a Christian, but see nothing wrong with their lifestyle and no reason to change?

I answered:

Thank you for the kind words about the post. If you haven’t read it, you can here. Let’s revisit that post for one key point. Homosexuality does not mean that your friend isn’t saved. Every Christian has sin that is ongoing in their life, that is living as fallen people in a fallen world. 

Someone not being ready to change is something that we all run across at some point. It can happen with pretty much any behavior. The situation is always touchy, and issues of sexuality are even more so. It is easy to see how the other person would not take this well, since you are essentially telling them which choices to make for their life.

And it is frustrating from your end because you know you are right. This person is going down a path that is not good for them, and you can see it where they either can’t or refuse to. There is no doubt in my mind that you just want the best for your friend. That being said, my advice to you is to let it go for now.

Sometimes people have to experience the consequences of behavior before they want to change. Even with behaviors that are straight up destructive, like hard drugs, people often have to end up in prison or in an otherwise dire situation before they get motivated to change things. And as for it being a sin, convicting people of their sin is the territory of the Holy Spirit. That is not the job you or I any any human is up to. 

The role of us as Christians and friends to love someone as best you can while they are in their situation. Treating someone nicely does not mean “condoning sin” or whatever labels churchy people use because they just can’t stand people not feeling guilty. Also, that sets you up to be the person they turn to when they are ready to make changes. Change someone initiates themselves is going to be more lasting, and much less messy than trying to convince someone that there is a problem where they don’t see one yet. Playing the long game is the best strategy.

-Matt from The Bridge

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