Anonymous asked: 

I’m a Christian but my boyfriend is not. He used to believe but over the past few years (before I knew him) he found problems with it and now regards himself as a deist. He’s completely open to the possibility that his mind / heart / faith could change again in the future and he’s completely supportive of me. How do you feel towards relationships between a Christian and a none Christian?

I answered:

Relationships between Christians and non-christians don’t work. And it makes sense that if you disagree on the most fundamental thing about how you see the world, then a relationship can’t fire on all cylinders. You want to pray about big decisions, he doesn’t believe in prayer. You are fired up about a missions trip, he isn’t going to want to go with you if he doesn’t believe in the reason behind the mission. It is a deeply foundational difference where the most important thing in your life is something he is open to, someday, maybe, if he sees a sign.

Deism is not a healthy medium either. James 2:19 says “You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that”. To be clear, I am not calling your boyfriend a demon. I’m not even saying he is a bad dude, he sounds perfectly nice. What I am saying is that acknowledging that there might be a deity of some sort in the universe is not anywhere near accepting the love of Jesus and declaring Him Lord of your life.

I think it is great that your boyfriend is supportive of you, but that is not what you want. What you want is a partner. You want someone who can push you and help you in your walk with the Lord, which someone who is not walking with Jesus simply cannot do. 

There is nothing in the Bible about dating non-believers, in fact there is pretty much nothing in the Bible about dating. Dating as we know it has been around for less than a century. But the Bible is clear that you shouldn’t get married to a non-believer. So if you know you can’t marry this person, then isn’t the relationship running on borrowed time as it is?

I think the mistake a lot of young Christians make is that they hang on to a relationship they shouldn’t out of fear that God will never let them have another one. The thinking is “I should just hold out that this guy gets saved, because who knows if I’ll ever get another boyfriend”. As with all decisions made out of fear, it ends up blowing up in your face. You need to have the faith in God that He is going to give you the relationship you are meant to have, with a godly man who can be a spiritual leader, and not settle for less out of fear.

-Matt from The Bridge

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