Anonymous asked:

I am a christian guy that is still in college.. Where their are numerous amounts influences to have sex, party, drugs ect… I am currently in a relationship with a girl whom i really want to be with and connect deeper with. How do I tell her I don’t want to have sex or party, but have a faithful, pure relationship with her? Even though we have had already had sex.What should i do?

I answered:

It seems like there are two different aspects to this question. The first being: how do I maintain my walk with Jesus in an environment full of temptation? And second: how do I re-establish boundaries in my relationship once they have been crossed? Both of these situations are solvable, but they both take good strategy and a lot of patience.

College can definitely be a tough place to walk with the Lord, especially if you are a new Christian; but it can also be a great place to get the fellowship and foundations that you need to really grow in Christ. You have to be discerning about who and what you surround yourself with. It is not all that hard to avoid partying, drugs, etc. You know where those things are going down, so don’t be there. The trickier part is that there are people who synonymous with those activities to you, and you might have to make some tough decisions about them.

The harsh truth is that there are probably some people who you have drank, partied, hooked up with that are not going to be interested in hanging out with you without the presence of drugs, alcohol, hooking up. The good news is, that you were going to have to cut ties with those people eventually anyway if you want to move forward walking with the Lord. They did the work of outing themselves as negative people for you.

Your girlfriend is not necessarily one of those people. You don’t mention whether or not your girlfriend is a believer too, so it’s hard to be too specific in advice. But this applies regardless: it is time to establish some boundaries. You have to be clear as possible and firm as possible. It won’t be the most pleasant conversation, but this is a situation where a little discomfort now saves a ton of drama down the road.

Be on what you are on and give people the opportunity to be on board with you. But if they aren’t, you have to be prepared to sever those relationships in order to find relationships that will build up your walk and serve your most important relationship, the one with your creator.

-Matt from The Bridge

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